Still Shocked: Thoughts on Human Rights and Women

Happy International Women's Day! 

Read this article Violence Against Women  

if you are going to read anything. 

It's better written and contains a ton more resources on the state of women in the world

 than does the following blog post of my musings.

If you have the time, then read this: On Oscar Pistorius and Misogyny

If you still have time, you may proceed to my rambling blog post 

of many thoughts on women in the world.

I currently live in the Dominican Republic. As a woman, if I walk in the city here, I am shouted at and approached in the streets constantly (also, of course, as a foreign woman, but it happens to local women too). The women and girls in the immigrant community where I live are often pregnant or raising children (sometimes not their own) at a very young age. They mostly work from home or as venders on the street. Prostitution is common. They are sexualized early. It looks different everywhere, but everywhere women face a struggle. The degree of the struggle, the length of the fight, the look and taste and smell of it are different, but it is everywhere.

I find it terrifying and discouraging that we still have to have a "conversation" or a "dialogue" about the "rights of women" (which are actually just human rights) and women in the media and violence against women. Women are being killed, harrassed, raped, beaten, verbally and physically assaulted in every country, in every city, every day. This is no longer a discussion. This is a reality that must be confronted. There IS a U.N. Commission on the Status of Women and they are having their annual meeting (read more here), but my cynical side wonders how much that will really accomplish. Still, at least it exists.

The world (society/humankind) relates to women in a different way than to men. Media treats women differently. Laws treat women differently. Social expectations are different for women. Much of this may seem natural, women and men are different after all.  But a lot of it is just plain silly, and a lot more of it is just plain wrong. The wrong ranges from female politicians being judged on their hairstyles more than their talking points, to 1 in 3 women being the subject of a rape, assault or form of violence. ONE IN THREE. 1 in 3. Can I say it again? ONE out of any THREE women that you know has likely dealt with violence from men. The statistic certainly holds true in my life.

There might be three women near you on the metro, in a bar, in your class, in your office. One of them was a victim of assault, violence or rape. That means that you personally know a woman who was raped or beaten or nearly escaped it. You might be that woman.  If one in three people, of any gender, were murdered or nearly murdered at knife point in in the USA something more would be done about it. There would be a huge out cry about the state of our country and our streets. Not that people aren't horrified about rape...but statistics sure don't show that anything is being done.

Violence against women is embedded in our language. The world girl is an insult! (That's for girls! That's girly!). THE NAME OF A GENDER IS AN INSULT. Pfft, you may say, that's not violent! It starts there, it starts small. Think of how arguments and anger or wonderful, big ideas can start from the tiniest image or word. Think about children being told they are stupid every day for five years. Wouldn't they start to believe it? It's the same with gendered insults.

Now think of a five year old girl you know (I can think of my students). Maybe she is hyper or rowdy or precocious or loves to sing or wants to be a farmer. Realize that the name of part of her identity is an insult. That is what she gets to grow into. That is what we have grown into.

I read this fantastic article a few weeks ago about fashion and women that shows how the insult of "girly" follows us from being 7 on the playground well into adulthood.
(Personally, I think spending a fortune on sports and clothes are equally silly in ethical terms...however, I would go to the French Open (tennis)  and own a ball gown in a heartbeat if I had the money...)

But that's getting into the ethics of capitalism. This is about the ladies, the fact that something is a problem ONLY because it is about the ladies (fashion) and yet the men are actually running the show and getting the rewards. Can you get anymore duped? This might seem like something small compared to the statistics on rape, but it is all part of a cultural cycle, a self-perpetuating cycle.

Feminist has become a dirty word, and it is much talked about whenever a celebrity actually "comes out" as one.  Equal rights for ladies! Oh, how scandelous! The cultural cycle continues its vicious turn by throwing up yet another degrading stereotype of women. Being called an "angry feminist" or even an "angry woman" is often used as a disparaging remark. It is basic human decency to be angry when a fellow human being is abused, degraded, raped and killed. If you aren't angry by the treatment of women around the world, you must be living in a cave. Alone. Or you must really, really hate women. Oh, and the ridiculous label of post-feminism, as if we've arrived and there is no more work to do - we have arrived when that one in three statistic no longer exists.

This post is rambling and it has all been said before, I know.

It's just that I'm still shocked. Flabbergasted, eternally surprised that so many women, all over the world, can daily face verbal or physical abuse and the majority of the world's population either doesn't care, or doesn't care to show they do.

Women being subject to violence is NOT a woman's issue. It is not a progressive liberal issue, not a hairy feminist issue, not a hippie issue. Starving children, low literacy rates and dirty drinking water are considered issues that everyone can be concerned about. But the basic human right for safety, for opportunity, for walking down the street without being shouted at - that is only for the women to deal with, apparently. What if we did that to every human right's issue? Oh, you kids are starving? That's a children's issue, we adults can't deal with it. Oh, you're desperately poor? That's a poverty issue, us people with money can't touch it.

 I am frightened by the fact that the vast majority of men refuse to publicly stand alongside women in their fight against abuse, harassment and rape. I am frightened that many people refuse to see that using women as sexual objects to sell products, and constantly portraying them as one-dimensional and over-sexualized is harmful. I am frightened that men and women not only don't want to be called feminist, but don't wish to be labeled anything that would ally them in the fight for women's safety.  I am frightened that people have to ask why we still need to be in that fight at all.

We still have such a very long way to go.

I'm a Feminist and I (sometimes) Shave My Legs!

 Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. ~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

I follow a number of feminist blogs/websites, particularly focusing on women in the media

 (Miss Representation being one of my favorite!) and thus, I feel like it is my duty, 

as a sometimes blogger and always feminist, to make this post.

Also, I will probably at some point write about my disgust about how women are portrayed in movies/video games, how chick-lit and chick-flicks are silly, etc etc.

And knowing what feminism means will just get us all on the same page. 

The above quotes say it all, really. 

Do you think women should vote?

 Should they be able to work outside the home?

Should they control their own money? 

Then you are a feminist.   

Feminism does NOT mean you think women are better than men. That would not be equality. 

I am feminist not only because, duh, I want to control my meager bank account and have a chance for a career, but because women are still abused, raped, harassed and molested every day. 

Statistically speaking, the odds are good you know someone who was raped. I do. 

 And I would bet money that you know a woman (or are a woman) that has been harassed in some way just for being a woman, whether it was unwanted touching or verbal harassment or some other form. 

Of course, a lot of women I know would still never claim they are a feminist, for many reasons.

They feel it goes against their religious beliefs, or will make people suspect they don't shave their legs, 

or maybe they will never get a boyfriend.

Hey, it's a risk you gotta take with the boyfriend 

- men always look at me askance when I say I'm a feminist.

Probably because I say it while wearing a pink sundress and they, 

bred on media's image of the manly or cold-hearted business woman feminist, 

are very confused.

(also, do you really want to date a man that doesn't want equality for women,

or is that easily confused/brain-washed by media? 

Probably not.) 

Some people say that we should just stop using the word, it has become so tainted.

 Others say we should reclaim it.

I use it because it is easier than saying equal-rights-for-everyone-no-matter-their-gender.

(but of course then I have to explain what feminism means, 

so maybe it would just be quicker so say that.) 

And honestly, I probably use it because I like to see the shock on people's faces 

and revel in their uncomfortable silence. 

You would think I said I was a member of The Ax Murderers Club. 

There are a million articles that can explain what being a feminist means a lot better than I can, 

but perhaps where we differ is that I am also a pro-life feminist.

(Yes! We exist!)

Check out more about that here at the awesome

Feminists for Life organization.

Anyway, I hope we understand each other now, 

you and I, dear reader (all three of you) who stumbled across this blog somehow.

And that is all!

The Internet: It Can Be Pretty Dumb, Bless Its Heart

I like the internet.  Most people do, but the majority like it just for Wikipedia and Facebook and Pandora and e-mail.

I like it for that, but also to read a million blogs and spend too much time on imgfave and imgur and humor websites and alternative news sources and looking at memes etc etc.... I don't like the internet enough to spend time on reddit and 9gag but I like it enough to have a vague idea of what they are. (And not want to visit.)

So I'm above a regular internet user but not quite at the-internet-is-my-life user.

But as much as I like the internet, let's please remember it can be really dumb. 

As in, intellectually challenged. 

Sometimes, I get blinded by my love for it and forget that. Like that crazy friend you have who says all the hilarious snarky comments, so you try to brush under the rug the fact that they might actually believe that marijuana will cure all diseases.  

Of course, there are tons of smart people using the internet, but as a mechanism, as a medium of communication, the internet seems to maximize opportunity for stupidity. (I mean, have you seen the nastiness that starts in a youtube comment conversation? About something as lighthearted as a video of a cat? Carnage.)  The anonymity and distance let people say hateful things and air angry, reactionary opinions. (Like the reactions to Olympic losses that bring out the worst....) But even the clever, kind people that love the internet can sometimes be suckered in by adorable puppies and forget to think deeply about biased news articles they read. (Like, well, me.) 

I love sassy websites, and most of them aren't meant to have much substance, just hilarious-ness. But I realized today that a lot of the humor websites I visit had gotten so into laughing at other people that they had completely lost any self-awareness or logic they ever had.

THIS comic is an example of the dumb part of the internet: some good points, mostly illogical, and almost too clever and funny to argue with. It's the "hey, take a stereotype of people we dislike and laugh at it until we forget that anything else exists about their beliefs/culture/humanity".  And THIS is a great reply to the comic! A reply that actually understands the medium of the internet. 

It would be fine if the same people that read these comics and other websites making fun of people with different beliefs also read say, the blogs of people with different beliefs. Or the New York Times article about their beliefs or the National Geographic article about their culture.  But they don't. So these stereotypes are all they know. And the fact that the stereotypes are funny make it real to them. And the internet perpetuates and perpetuates until a bunch of people laughingly hate another bunch of people for no deeper reason except for some comics they saw and that time that dude cut them off in the street or said he didn't like memes. 

Research doesn't go deeper than wikipedia, but unfortunately hate does.

One comic isn't a big deal. One disparaging photo ain't no thang. But thousands and millions of them stick in your head. The internet is not always deep (as in, profound) but it is wide. A hundred major Hollywood films and internet images portraying women as hyper-sexualized and what do we do to our female politicians first thing? Put their heads on bikini bodies. 

Put then we put it on the internet and laugh at it, so it's ok right?

PS Check out Cracked for humor that is hilarious, clever and surprisingly educational!

A Beautiful Film and some Peruvian Reminiscing

Last night I finished watching Claudia Llosa's beautiful film La Teta Asustada or, as it is translated in English, The Milk of Sorrow. 

It's a Peruvian film I've seen described as "art house" and it has won a few awards. All I know is that the cinematography is breathtaking and the lead actress, Magaly Solier is amazing. 

google images, yay! 

(The trailer can be watched here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uo8Sl_WAuI)

At first I watched it on the DVD a lovely Peruvian friend had given me as a goodbye gift, which had no subtitles. My Spanish is getting rusty and while I got enough to follow the story, now and then I would miss a line. The DVD was scratched so I watched the rest of it on Netflix 

(it's on instant play! With English subtitles!). 

Google has an image of Magaly Solier in La Teta Asustada...how handy!

Turns out missing one line can really change your perception of the story.... the woman I thought was being supportive of Magaly's character was actually a lier and ungrateful pituca.

Perhaps language barriers sometimes give you a rosier perception of the world... 

The film is set in Lima and I felt near physical pangs, it made me miss it so much. 

The delicious food, stray dogs, sweet talking men, the music that gets the whole family dancing, and the random relatives whom you never know exactly how they are related. 

Perhaps they aren't. 

 That was my Peruvian experience anyway...

He is very likely a sweet talking Peruvian man/boy. 

Delicious food. 

Much of the movie was filmed in neighborhoods like this one, La Encantada, where I taught English.
It made me miss my students and friends there.  

The street the center where I taught was on.  

I kept shouting for my dad to come see the movie - "Look! Mototaxies! I rode those!" 

"Look, that looks exactly like where I taught!"

"Look at those super steep stairs....listen to that music....see what she is wearing?" 

My darling dad patiently watched every random scene I asked him too, and he likely thinks this was a movie about mototaxies, sand dunes and weddings. Which it is. Sorta. 

If you are interested in either Latin America or film, I highly recommend La Teta Asustada!  Also, it is directed by a WOMAN! 

And seeing as female directors are about as rare as jobs for Medieval Literature Majors, you should support them. 

Claudia Llosa, the director! (google images) 

Except for that one Twilight movie directed by a woman. 

No social reform movement or loyalty to my gender will lead me to support those films. 

P.S I am not getting paid for talking about any of this stuff...though I really should be, don't you think?

Machismo: Peruvian Social Reality

Barbie: The United States of America's favorite lady.

These are my sheets in my host family's house.

For my blog post on machismo in Peru, I held a few highly professional interviews with a couple of male Peruvian friends on Facebook chat, as well as with my host family over pizza.

My first friend I interviewed is a professor, a very well educated Limeño. I asked if he believed machismo existed in Peru and he said yes. The rest of the interview went like this: (these are all direct quotes, but not all of the conversation is posted, only the questions and answers I found most relevant).

ME - donde lo ves? (referring to machismo)

Prof - en la familia, en la escuela, en la universidad, en el trabajo, en los servicios , en la ía publica, etc

Me - Crees que machismo va a cambiar en Peru?

Prof - yo pienso que sí, pero va a pasar muchos años.

peru es un pais con muchas culturas, algunas d ellas consideran q el machismo es normal.

yo pienso que el valor del respeto hacia las personas y por ello

la igualdad de derchos entre hombres y mujeres es universal

no tiene un relativismo cultural

no puede ser q a una mujer en el mundo arabe se le castigue con la muerte porque engaña a su marido

no hay excusas culturales para ese tipo de cosas

Me- ¿ves el machismo en la publicidad o los medios de comunicación? si es así, le puede dar un ejemplo?

Prof - asi es, comerciales d cerveza.
asi, pero creo q las mujeres que participan en eso comerciales tienen la culpa d aceptar eso

no tienen dignidad

(haz click here for the Brahma commercial)

After I mentioned the veneration of certain women, such as mothers and the Virgin Mary

This is one of two Virgin's in my host family's house.

My mom placed the flowers there "for the virgin".

he responded:

Prof- la religion catolica es muy machista

I found this interesting, as most of what I have witnessed has been women being the primary adherents to the Catholic faith. It is women who get together to say the Rosary, women who are often the readers and singers at masses and women who have spoken to me about the Catholic faith. At processions and special masses I have seen many men and, interestingly, when I attended a Catholic youth group with my host sister (16 years old) there were as many young males as females, but most day to day Catholic rituals seem to be female driven. I would like to speak to my friend more about why he believes the Catholic religion is machista (their stance on abortion? On no women priests?).

I briefly interviewed another friend of mine, a fellow student at PUCP:

Student- Si creo que hay machismo

Mayormente en las familias de clase mas pobre

ME- Tienes un ejemplo?

Student - Por ejemplo

Una familia pobre donde el papa trabaja y la mama se queda cuidando a los niños.

El papa llega a la casa borracho y le pega ala mama

ME - En tu opinión, ¿por qué existe el machismo en el Perú?

Student - porque, Hay gente que no recibe la educacion y valores, Que los puedan ayudar a superar esos problema. Es un resposabilidad compartida por el estado y tambien por cada familia

I then interviewed my host family. Well, I began by interviewing my younger host sister and was then joined by my host mother and father and the interview turned into a more casual conversation. Some highlights:

• They first mentioned (like my student friend) that it was common in poor places, but then amended that to say it happens in places "con dinero" as well.
• They said the origin was the beliefs of the parents and that machismo is a generational problem
• My sister cited "not letting the woman work" as an example of machista
• Like my professor friend, they mentioned the Middle East as a place with worse machismo
• They also mentioned Mexico as having worse machismo because "men always command"
• My host mom talked about her father (who passed away) as being very machista and saying to her mother not to share her opinion.
• They mentioned how men often kill women in Peru

When I first mentioned machista to my mom, she said "Mira, él es machista, porque él quiere que sirva su plato." She referred to my dad as she said this, and handed him a plate of food. I thought she was joking, but no one laughed and he didn't respond. Later, he went and got the cola to serve, and my host sister joked "see, he's not machista!"

I feel that making a thorough analysis of machista in Peru would require more indepth research (obviously), especially within the younger generation, in which many values are changing. From conversations, advertisements, and getting cat-called on the streets, I would say Lima is very machista, but I do not wish to make such a statement without more research to back this up.