Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Evidence for My Theory That Peruvians are Super Humans


1. They don't have to drink water.
Clinical studies show (aka me) that Peruvians can exist off Inka Cola and cheap beer and need never touch water to their lips.

2. They rarely need to use the bathroom.
The Inka Cola and beer must enter straight into their blood stream, nourishing and energizing them and allowing them to go dancing at all hours of the night. Which leads to number 3...

3. They don't need to sleep much.
I have seen Peruvians dance all night and wake up a few hours later fresh as daisy's while I grope about for my water and the bathroom (I'm weak, I know.)

And this Peruvian friend can FLY!

4. But they can sleep anywhere.
I've seen them nodding off on buses in which people are literally screaming, horns honking and reggeaton music pumping (this is a skill I have nearly mastered! The only one of the list.)

And she taught me how to FLY! On a giant sand dune!

5. They can drink liquids that would burn the faces off of lesser mortals.
I was once served hot chocolate that was steaming and burnt my tongue. My Peruvian family drank theirs (the same temperature) in 5 seconds flat and laughed at me. Kindly.

And these are just the normal, across the board, sort of Super Human traits. This doesn't even take into account jungle skills like making princess crowns out of leaves or calling monkeys, or Andean skills like herding llama and making chicha.

Jungle Princess Crown made by Super Human Peruvian Jungle Tour Guide

Perhaps, if I go spend more time in Peru, I too will become Super Human.

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