Thursday, January 12, 2012

Bus Ride from Hell Part 2: Exorcism?

In which someone gets a little crazy and I am terrified. 

 I successfully made it on my second bus, which is now quiet and peaceful (oh except for the rap someone is playing. Honestly, why is it ALWAYS rap?? No one plays acoustic guitar music too loudly over their ear buds. Seriously, people are trying to sleep.)

To pick up where we left off, I am sitting incredibly close and cuddly to my very large seat companion, attempting not to panic.  Suddenly, from the back of the bus I hear a strained, hissing sort of whispering. Some man keeps hissing to himself, with increasing volume “You are a danger to society! pow pow pow!”  (the pows mimicking the sound of a gun) over and over and over again in a high pitched voice super fast.
It was pretty creepy.

Then the hissing stopped and either he or another man (I never turned around) shouted – “Those who have ears let them hear! Jesus is real! Jesus is coming! The Messiah is coming! I rebuke you Satan! I rebuke you!”
 And then I realized we were very possibly in the middle of an exorcism.

The man kept muttering and making noises. Someone seemed like they were having a fit of some sort, and either he or someone else was responding to it by taking on Satan. Now, I am all for some preaching, but with all the tensions that can break out on any sort of transportation, be it bus, plane or subway, one has to be careful. This guy could be for real, or he could be mentally unstable, or have Tourette's Syndrome or he could even be violent, one never knows.  We were sitting in this dark bus, on the highway, and something intense was going on. I just hoped 300 Pound Man would take pity on me and would protect me from any violence.

But seriously, I am pretty sure that was an attempted exorcism happening on the bus.

Our bus driver had introduced herself as Ms. Lisa, and she was one tough lady. She put all of our luggage on the bus by herself like it weren’t no thang. She didn’t react at all when the Prophet Man started shouting, but a few minutes later she pulled into an exit, turned on all the lights and all five feet or so of her marched to the back of the bus. I don’t know if she said something quietly to the man, or just fixed everyone in the back with a glacial stare, but after five minutes she marched back and we were on our way.

Half an hour later, the hissing started again, but quieter, still talking about being a danger to society. It was one of the creepiest things I have ever heard.

The rest of the bus ride was tame in comparison… the hissing continued but apparently no exorcism was needed. When we finally got off the bus someone in the back said "woah...that dude was crazy." And a young man answered, very seriously but politely, "No one is crazy."

I must say, that made me think - what was really going on in Hissing Man's reality that caused the need for a call to Jesus?

[I was distracted from my philosophical ponderings when I met a cute guy while switching buses, but lost him in the mayhem because I am awkward and care more about getting a good seat. (But if you somehow see this, cute bus boy, maybe we should hang…)]
To sum up, bus ettiquete: Don’t be 300 pounds. Don’t choose a bus as your site for an exorcism. Don’t cross the bus driver.  Listen to music so ONLY YOU CAN HEAR IT.


  1. I have been sitting in the dinning hall on campus while reading both of your blog entries. The guy and girl sitting at the table next to me literally interrupted me to ask me what I watching that was so funny.... Explained that I was reading your blog about (what will forever be known as) The Bus Ride. I didn't realize how much (and hard) I was laughing at your post. I miss you woman and can't wait to see you this spring!!

  2. haha I am so glad it made you laugh! And you should of told those two to follow my blog for some good times! Can't wait to see you!